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"Why are you always alone?"

First you need to know that my middle name is Loner. Karwei Loner Goay. (HA!)
I do most of the things in life alone, I shop alone, eat alone, go to places alone and I have not found anything is wrong with that.
Yet, comments and opinions that I have received so far are neither nice nor positive.
Yo, I'm not seriously asking for credit for doing stuff alone, trying to imply that I am one strong and independent girl that deserves compliments for doing so. At least, try not to go all "Wah一个人啊,这么孤单/寂寞/emo/可怜?" 
Hearing words like that honestly put me in a bad mood and my day will be ruined. 


First of all, the reason why you find me sitting in a cafe all alone, is because I, myself, DECIDED that I just wanted to spend some precious time solely with myself.  I'm good enough by having myself to be there for me.
Wow it came out sounding really weird but yes! I don't need your irrelevant opinions like what's up with that? 
Some of them went even far "你没有朋友的hor 做么一个人"  nice wei.

Knowing that my friends have classes at a certain hour so I can't go out and chill by myself even if I feel like it?
Having my friend study at the other side of the island so I'll make them drive 40 minutes all the way from far just for a meal with me?

What I really don't get is why do people think that you need a company to do everyfuckingthing with?
Like if someone isn't there with you, the coffee taste bitterer now?  The sun no longer shine now? 
Well maybe its the way you do things, but that's just you. People have their own ways to do things too. You don't speak for them.
And their way is to DO IT ALONE. 

Okay lah I gotta admit it's kind of bad to be seen eating alone but to me, I'd rather, than to have meals with someone then we both end up being on our phones throughout the whole meal. That's even more awkward okay?!  
Having to squeeze all your brain juice thinking of topics to talk about;
 Forgetting how many times you've already mentioned about the same damn stuff;
 Then having to act all interested in their stories, constantly putting your "Really? Tell me more!" face on. 
Gosh. It drives me insane..

Err. There's something weird about me, which, you're gonna hate me for saying this.
Okay, this dark secret of mine, is that sometimes I don't really care what is going on in peoples' lives  -.- 
Oh, don't hate me just yet, I meant "sometimes"
When people tell me stuff, I'm like 'Oh! Really? You did that?"  then following by my well-trained interested face.
On the outside, I'm like:

On the inside, I'm like:

Sometimes, just sometimes, I really really don't fucking care any single thing anyone says.
This is exactly why I don't go randomly blabbering my problems to anyone I see, I know how awful it feels.
UNLESS WE ARE LIKE REALLY GOOD FRIENDS then I'll be genuinely annoying and vice versa, be concerned and worried anything that you say. The rest, please just stop talking and we shall never meet ever again.


Why do I always shop alone?
Last but not least, I wanna emphasis on HOW WONDERFUL IT IS TO SHOP ALONE. 
INDESCRIBABLY HAPPINESS. 
Don't get me wrong, it's cool to go with the girlfriends too, it really depends on your mood and what kind of a day you want it to be.
Is it a chitty-chatty full-of-gossips happy afternoon? Or a silent do-whatever-I-want shopping therapy? 
As much as I enjoy company, shopping just feels easier to be doing alone.
I thought about the question and split it down to a few points 

#1  Save all the troubles.
I was never a girly girl growing up, I like getting my errands done quick and not having to procrastinate it for the sake of somebody else. Okay to make it clear, I JUST DON'T LIKE TO WAIT. You see, the cycle of asking somebody out: 
Asking > time-coping > planning > arrangement of transportation > discussion about outfits > waiting the other party to be done with preparing and pick you up/ waiting for the other party to get ready before picking them up > being indecisive whether to eat or to buy first .. Its's even worse when you go out as a group.
就很麻烦okay HAHHAHAHA.  
What I like is, oh I feel like going to shop a little today, then I'll be at the mall right after the class ends;
Oh, I'm feeling a little more feminine today so I'll just grab a dress and go;
Hey, just notice a pair of high heels that I haven't worn in ages, lets rock on them today.
Instead of calling someone "喂我穿heels叻" getting a respond  "穿什么heels我穿拖鞋罢了!" 
可是当然  有时候朋友们一起逛街也是很开心的 ,不过今天我要强调的point是一个人的快乐!
Of course I like spending time with my friends, don't get me wrong. It's just once in a blue moon, I kind of just wanna do things my way and too lazy to seek for approval of yours.

#2 The awkward moment in your favorite stores.
Tell me, I am not the only one that finds it uncomfortable being stared while going through clothes.
How do I put this, hmm. Everybody has different taste, you just have to be careful about the needs  of every one involve.
I happened to like (and can only afford) Forever 21 while my friend is a Topshop junkie. Just an example lah I'm not picking on anyone that likes Topshop! T.T (which I hope I can afford lol) 
The feeling when they just wait and look at you while you being all excited to be in your own pace, its like they're waiting for you to be done with it then you can finally go. Err, it stresses me out  :/ I always feel bad when I see my friends texting or waiting outside while I try on clothes or stand in line to pay. Of course your friends are not gonna complain about the boredom, but you know lah, how would you feel waiting for someone at the same store for 30 minutes. It's even worse when it's group shopping, imagine having to spend every 30 minutes for everybody, gosh, so much of your time will be cut down.
My point exactly, going through the entire sale racks at Forever 21, with the hope to dig out the good deals, feels much more relaxing while you do it all alone. Which brings me to another point, 

So you don't have to snatch for the one last piece of cute top that is on sales!

#3 Getting judge for how much I've spent.
Is it just me or anyone feels the same way when you're carrying a few shopping bags while your friend is walking blank handed, I can't help but feel as if my friend is silently judging my materialism when I'm buying more stuff than her;
or does she think that I'm cheap and stingy, when the ones I'm carrying are just small purchases.
I know it's silly to compare the bills but for me, after a heavenly 放纵 shopping,
The last thing I want to feel is guilty, when they say "Are you sure about buying this? Its pricey" Dang flabbit, there goes my hesitation. Even when I really really like it, I will just hold it in and walk away, with goodbye speech to the cloth "I'll come grab you tomorrow wait for mama" ... I'll do whatever it takes to avoid being questioned by my friend, even it means coming back to the same place the next day just to get that one item.  Ugh. I just hate being questioned about my choice. Automatically assume thats on their minds
 "walao酱贵也舍得买"  or  "wow shes really spoiled"  fuck this okay just fuck this.
Neither am I rich or spoiled, 就决定要出去shopping 当然手头上有钱才会想要shopping. What is wrong with buying stuff to reward/ spoil myself?  你不疼你自己是你的事 ,我疼我自己也不管你的事 bye. Hahahaha a little carried away.

Everybody has different definition of "expensive" 
I once bought a RM40 top that has really high quality, I was so happy with the purchase, thought I found a worthy item! 
Then someone just had to butt in and went "WTF40块很贵okay"  Wow really? Really? RM40 is SOO expensive you have to go wtf?
Can't tell you how much I wanted to die at that moment. I was too sick to argue so yea.
Your opinion is much unappreciated, shove your negative vibes up your own ass cos I don't need that.
I really like it when my friends are super supportive! Hahaha when they go "Omg thats such a steal" HAHAHA IKR ILY.

Or or, another situation, when the friends managed to find so many good items while none of them suited me,
I'll go scolding myself inside "walao谁叫你酱肥"   "脸都不美了还学人家肥"
I know it sounds ridiculous but it's true! The thoughts do kick in at times.
Then I'll just wave it away, convince myself that we are friends and there is no such competitions like who spends more, 
we are both just hunting for good stuff and I'll have my chance next time! LOLOL

#4 Start off random conversations with random people/ sales assistant.
No argument needed, I can only do this when I am alone and I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.
I like starting conversations with sales assistant, solely for their opinions if they think the clothes look good on me.
Most of them were really friendly and got along with me really well, had a little chat, then your day will feel different.
I have came to realize that starting off a random convo, joke about stupid things that we see, laugh a little, do brighten your day a lot better!    Trust me on this one, just trust me. 
The reason why I find it difficult to talk to stranger when I'm with a friend, is that I don't want them to think I ki siao or flirty. 
It seems my confidence appears to be stronger when I'm alone, more spontaneous and easy-going.
Can't judge if its a good thing or nah, I just really enjoy this side of mine  :)


There. 4 main points. I said it. I would go on but my back is aching and so are my fingers lol.
To round this whole topic off, I just wanna say:
You might be someone that needs company all the times but not everyone is like you.
Just because someone is different, doesn't mean they don't enjoy being them.
Doing things differently doesn't mean people are doing the wrong thing.

Next time, before you sputter out any judgment on people, think if it is necessarily to say it.
I've been called "no friends" "no people want to join me" " pitiful" just because I often show up being alone.
Its just.. hahaha.  No further explanations needed. I'll just let idiots keep being idiots.



Phewwww, its been a long time since I do a wording post like this, feeling good but I'm ashamed of how bad my English is becoming.
T.T forgive me.. Guess you gotta pay for not writing for so long. Gotta practice more now.
Feel free to comment down below and tell me what you think :) 
No mean comments needed but I'll be delightful to hear what you think!  


Xx, kwg.

7 comments

  1. You have me nodding my head at most points :p . Loner here as well ; its ok, some people will feel you <3

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    1. Good good! As long as somebody knows :p

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  2. TOTALLY AGREE WITH ALL THE POINTS ABOVE! I couldn't understand why most of the people out there wabt to have companion ALL THE TIME? "Accompany me to go to the toilet leh" "wait me leh" these pissed me off the most! Omg! Be independent! Haha. Love your blogpost, I am a loner too xP

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  3. OMG! I totally love this post, haha! It makes me remind my good old loner days when I am still single! Somehow I still miss the old loner days too~ haha. Independent girls WIN! haha, support support!!

    Love

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  4. I get you! Like wtf is wrong with eating and shopping alone? i guess it takes a loner to know another haha!

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  5. your english is getting better and better every other day:) your article and sharing serve as one of the best written drafts in English about life, loneliness, and everything in between. Thanks a lot Kar for this entertaining post.

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